08-10-2012, 04:47 PM
BODY LANGUAGE
BODY LANGUAGE.pdf (Size: 5.67 MB / Downloads: 39)
Introduction
As a young boy, I was always aware that what people said was
not always what they meant or were feeling and that it was
possible to get others to do what I wanted if I read their real
feelings and responded appropriately to their needs. At the age
of eleven, I began my sales career selling rubber sponges doorto-
door after school to make pocket money and quickly
worked out how to tell if someone was likely to buy from me
or not. When I knocked on a door, if someone told me to go
away but their hands were open and they showed their palms,
I knew it was safe to persist with my presentation because,
despite how dismissive they may have sounded, they weren't
aggressive. If someone told me to go away in a soft voice but
used a pointed finger or closed hand, I knew it was time to
leave. I loved being a salesperson and was excellent at it. As a
teenager, I became a pots and pans salesperson, selling at
night, and my ability to read people earnt me enough money
to buy my first piece of property. Selling gave me the opportunity
to meet people and study them at close range and to
evaluate whether they would buy or not, simply by watching
their body language. This skill also proved a bonanza for
meeting girls in discos. I could nearly always predict who
would say 'yes' to a dance with me and who wouldn't.
How Well Do You Know the Back
of Your Hand?
Sometimes we say we know something 'like the back of our
hand' but experiments prove that less than 5% of people can
identify the back of their hands from a photograph. The
results of a simple experiment we conducted for a television
programme showed that most people are generally not good at
reading body language signals either. We set up a large mirror
at the end of a long hotel lobby, giving the illusion that, as you
entered the hotel, there was a long corridor going through the
hotel and out the back of the lobby. We hung large plants from
the ceiling to a distance of 5 feet above the floor so that, as
each person entered the lobby, it looked as if another person
was entering at the same time from the other end. The 'other
person' was not readily recognisable because the plants
covered their face, but you could clearly see their body and
movement. Each guest observed the other 'guest' for five to six
seconds before turning left to the reception desk. When asked
if they had recognised the other 'guest', 85% of men answered
no'. Most men had failed to recognise themselves in a mirror,
one saying, 'You mean that fat, ugly guy?' Unsurprisingly, 58%
of the women said it was a mirror and 30% said the other
'guest' looked 'familiar'.
How Well Can You Spot Body Language
Contradictions?
People everywhere have developed a fascination with the body
language of politicians because everyone knows that politicians
sometimes pretend to believe in something that they
don't believe in, or infer that they are someone other than who
they really are. Politicians spend much of their time ducking,
dodging, avoiding, pretending, lying, hiding their emotions
and feelings, using smokescreens or mirrors and waving to
imaginary friends in the crowd. But we instinctively know that
they will eventually be tripped up by contradictory body language
signals, so we love to watch them closely, in anticipation
of catching them out.
How We Wrote This Book
Barbara and I have written The Definitive Book of Body Language
using my original book, Body Language, as our base.
Not only have we considerably expanded on that one, we have
also introduced research from new scientific disciplines, such
as evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology as well
as technologies such as Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI),
which shows what happens in the brain. We have written it in
a style that means it can be opened and read on almost any
page at random. We've kept the content mainly to the movement
of the body, expressions and gestures, because these are
the things you need to learn to get the most out of every faceto-
face encounter. The Definitive Book of Body Language will
make you more aware of your own non-verbal cues and
signals, and will show you how to use them to communicate
effectively and how to get the reactions you want.
BODY LANGUAGE.pdf (Size: 5.67 MB / Downloads: 39)
Introduction
As a young boy, I was always aware that what people said was
not always what they meant or were feeling and that it was
possible to get others to do what I wanted if I read their real
feelings and responded appropriately to their needs. At the age
of eleven, I began my sales career selling rubber sponges doorto-
door after school to make pocket money and quickly
worked out how to tell if someone was likely to buy from me
or not. When I knocked on a door, if someone told me to go
away but their hands were open and they showed their palms,
I knew it was safe to persist with my presentation because,
despite how dismissive they may have sounded, they weren't
aggressive. If someone told me to go away in a soft voice but
used a pointed finger or closed hand, I knew it was time to
leave. I loved being a salesperson and was excellent at it. As a
teenager, I became a pots and pans salesperson, selling at
night, and my ability to read people earnt me enough money
to buy my first piece of property. Selling gave me the opportunity
to meet people and study them at close range and to
evaluate whether they would buy or not, simply by watching
their body language. This skill also proved a bonanza for
meeting girls in discos. I could nearly always predict who
would say 'yes' to a dance with me and who wouldn't.
How Well Do You Know the Back
of Your Hand?
Sometimes we say we know something 'like the back of our
hand' but experiments prove that less than 5% of people can
identify the back of their hands from a photograph. The
results of a simple experiment we conducted for a television
programme showed that most people are generally not good at
reading body language signals either. We set up a large mirror
at the end of a long hotel lobby, giving the illusion that, as you
entered the hotel, there was a long corridor going through the
hotel and out the back of the lobby. We hung large plants from
the ceiling to a distance of 5 feet above the floor so that, as
each person entered the lobby, it looked as if another person
was entering at the same time from the other end. The 'other
person' was not readily recognisable because the plants
covered their face, but you could clearly see their body and
movement. Each guest observed the other 'guest' for five to six
seconds before turning left to the reception desk. When asked
if they had recognised the other 'guest', 85% of men answered
no'. Most men had failed to recognise themselves in a mirror,
one saying, 'You mean that fat, ugly guy?' Unsurprisingly, 58%
of the women said it was a mirror and 30% said the other
'guest' looked 'familiar'.
How Well Can You Spot Body Language
Contradictions?
People everywhere have developed a fascination with the body
language of politicians because everyone knows that politicians
sometimes pretend to believe in something that they
don't believe in, or infer that they are someone other than who
they really are. Politicians spend much of their time ducking,
dodging, avoiding, pretending, lying, hiding their emotions
and feelings, using smokescreens or mirrors and waving to
imaginary friends in the crowd. But we instinctively know that
they will eventually be tripped up by contradictory body language
signals, so we love to watch them closely, in anticipation
of catching them out.
How We Wrote This Book
Barbara and I have written The Definitive Book of Body Language
using my original book, Body Language, as our base.
Not only have we considerably expanded on that one, we have
also introduced research from new scientific disciplines, such
as evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology as well
as technologies such as Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI),
which shows what happens in the brain. We have written it in
a style that means it can be opened and read on almost any
page at random. We've kept the content mainly to the movement
of the body, expressions and gestures, because these are
the things you need to learn to get the most out of every faceto-
face encounter. The Definitive Book of Body Language will
make you more aware of your own non-verbal cues and
signals, and will show you how to use them to communicate
effectively and how to get the reactions you want.